Goodliness Is Next to Godliness

Dear Dr. Eve,

How can I be a better person?

- Anonymous


Dear Not-Good-Enough Person,

I guess it depends on how bad a person you are now. Like, if you’re a mass murderer taking a brief advice letter-writing breather from your otherwise unblemished career as a raging genocidist, it’s easy. Almost anything is better than that. However, given that you're asking, I’m assuming you’re not quite so beyond the pale. I might further deduce that you’re not a religious person, because if you were, you’d refer your question to the Gospels, or the Torah, or the Koran, or the Clarity Doctrine as Revealed by Beneficent Aliens to L. Ron Hubbard, or whatever your particular faith’s preferred scripture might be, before coming to an unqualified blogger like myself.

In other words, you’re probably just kind of a middle-of-the-road, unevil, generally-nice-but-not-necessarily-exemplary human being like the vast majority of us. In which case, ironically enough, it’s way more complicated.

Let's agree that being a good person means doing helpful stuff for others, opposing injustice or inequity, creating a more habitable and enduring world, being nice, being generous, being compassionate, being fair. In view of such agreed-upon terms, here are some tips for being a better person.

1. Duh: Volunteer. It’s best to find things that are within the scope of your interest and ability when volunteering; it makes for a more pleasant experience and ensures you’ll continue. Like, if you are dyslexic and hate books, you might not want to tutor disadvantaged kids. If you are afraid of sharing living quarters with earnest people, don’t do Habitat for Humanity. If you don’t believe in God, avoid faith-based organizations lest you run the risk of upsetting the very people you are there to help. A good place to go check out different places and see exactly how they stack up on the good-deed-o-meter is http://www.charitynavigator.org/.
2. Use Goodsearch.com. They give money to charity for every search you perform.
3. Set reasonable goals. You’ll note that Jesus didn’t start his life by dying for everyone’s sins. When becoming a better person, it’s best to start small (random acts of kindness) and slowly build up to a big bang (martyrdom).
4. Go to therapy. Dr. Eve, though not licensed to practice herself, loves therapy. Granted, the stated goal of therapy is not to make one a better person per se; however, it is meant to teach you how to overpower your inner demons and take responsibility for your own part in bad dynamics and destructive behaviors. Doing these things will definitely make you a better person. 5. Recycle. Oh, and for inpiration, watch movies about good people like Sophie Scholl: The Final Days.