Dear Dr. Eve,I really like all of my co-workers, but something is tearing me up inside. One of them is an especially close friend, but she has a secret, dark side. She pretends she knows what we're talking about during our important pop culture (mostly reality TV) discussions, and we know she does not. She is also the main suspect in a bathroom key theft. I love her, but I don't trust her. What should I do?

Dear Patient,
I think I know who you're talking about. Does her name rhyme with "Floorin' Scum's Den"? Regardless, I can see how this could be very alarming. Life is confusing enough without people trying to pass themselves off as viewers of your favorite shows and/or putter-backers of keys they are secretly pocketing.
A wise old adage tells us that trust is the foundation of a good relationship. Fortunately for you and your friend, this is not really the case. I myself have built countless fruitful and rewarding friendships on little but empty promises and false proclamations of mutual respect. So the next time your colleague attempts to insinuate her so-called thoughts into a discussion about last night's episode of I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant, Just nod pleasantly and say, "So true, Floorin'. So True." And watch, with a single tear of joy descending your downy cheek, as the flower of your friendship blossoms.